Alcoholism takes a while to mature in our lives, even if you felt like you were alcoholic from the start as I did. Whether you’re in that place five years or fifty, with all that drinking comes a lot of lying, cheating and stealing. No siree, that ain’t-a-gonna-go away overnight just because you put the drink down. You’re gonna have to live it down.
How long will that take you ask?
Well, I guess that depends on the amount of damage you did while under the influence. I can tell you this, working the twelve steps can surely get things going in the right direction. Like my good buddy Wally used to say, “you got to EARN respect”, and sometimes that takes a while when you’ve been drunk for years. As they say, saddle up the turtle because early recovery can be kinda slow going compared to that fast paced, crazy, chaotic life we were living.
Alcoholism, “cunning, baffling and powerful”. I was sure, when I stopped, I’d never make it, only by God’s Grace and the H.O.W. of recovery, could it even happen.
Yes, to gain that respect will take time, but one thing’s for sure, when you put the plug in the jug, you better make sure it stays there. As Christ himself told us, to uncork the party once again will create a situation seven times as bad. I know when I think about my last time around, I can’t even imagine seven times as bad. Could I even survive that?
Incomprehensible demoralization X 7
No thanks…I believe I’ll stay and do that living amends thing. Much better to live it down than die trying by going back out again and again.
One day at a time.