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After some time in solid recovery we begin to stop doing those things that were detrimental to our well being. For instance, being with people that are looking for a “good time,” going to places where we would be tempted to fall into our old ways, Having things around us that could pull us back down. All of these positive actions on our part, came as a result of becoming sober. 

As we all know every action begins with a thought but… “Are you kidding me, sure I know I needed to change people places and things but, I’m gonna think about whatever the heck I want to!”

Some refer to the human mind as the secret place. It is one of the two places where God resides with us. When you think about it, anywhere God resides should be well kept, but what exactly does that mean when it comes to the mind? 

Step six and seven head us that way. If we want God to remove all of our defects of character then we need to start working on our thought life. Christ explains “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, anything that’s excellent or praiseworthy think about such things. God made us in such a way that we can only think of one thing at a time. Here, He’s giving us the solution. If you need to correct your dark mental ways then think correctly with the Light of Love. 

As we progress in sobriety we begin to spend more of our time thinking good thoughts for ourself and others. Those good thoughts will lead to more good actions. It’s not as hard as it seems. You just needed sobriety in order to be able to execute, some disciplined thinking. Now by God Grace, you’ve got it, so just use it.

I had said the serenity prayer until I was blue in the face in early sobriety and continue to today. I have said it so many times, that eventually God granted. me the serenity to know the difference. 

Our questions now is… 

What is our path of constructive action when we are faced with something beyond our control that we desperately believe requires change.

Prayer is the answer.

As we become sober, the one thing we see is how little control we really have. These days I’m not much on control. The older I become, the less control I want. “Thy will not mine be done”..eh? I know He has a better way in every situation, if I let Him. Faced with these situations, what choice do I really have. I have the choice to pray and ask for His divine will to be accomplished. “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”

Thank God in recovery we have learned the importance of asking for help! 

As my wonderful late sponsor Mr. Wally K use to say.” When you go to bed at night throw your shoes under the bed. When you wake up  in the morning. and your on your knees lookin for um, ask God to keep you sober and help you through the day.” Such a simple solution for what seemed to me at the time overwhelming, daily living.

What does it really mean to pray? 

We ask through heart felt sincerity for Christ’s divine will to guide our daily dilemmas to His correct conclusions. Thee answer to prayer is always the same… yes, no or wait a while, but know this, your prayer is always heard and will be answered in God’s time. As addicts and alcoholics we usually want our prayer solution to be granted yesterday.  I have to tell you it’s my experience that the “wait a while thing” is usually what’s gonna go down. Its required because typically, we humans have screwed things up to a such a point that only God can bring a positive solution for everyone involved.

When most of us think of this word we think bad news but, if we can learn, consequences have an up side. It’s the “if we can learn” thing here that’s important. Under the influence, consequences came and went in my life without learning a thing. When I think about it, how else could I have taken myself to jails institutions and death? Lights off, in the fog and surrounded by others more lost than I was.

NOT GOOD! 

It was only the Grace of our Lord, plain and simple, that brought me to that moment of clarity. Surrender to sobriety.. alleluia, now I can learn if I am willing to join and stay. It’s like my good friend Dale always sez “You need to come all the way in, an set all the way down”  No more giggles left in la la land for us!

Now WE begin to learn by our continued mistakes. Not near as as bad as before without sobriety and getting better. WE learn by attending meetings and listening to others talk about their mistakes. Best of all, we learn from those with time who have stayed in the program, done the work and transform their lives into something wonderful. That was HOW the faith I needed began to materialize. I started to think “ If that bozo can find his way home, maybe I can too! ”

Now, by God’s Grace and all you fine folks, I have received the impossible consequence. A result that I never ever believed I could ever achieve. A sober and forgiven life beyond my wildest dreams. 

The good news…

You too can have a life like this. Taylor made, with real divine purpose just for you from our loving God. Just find yourself a good sponsor with time to help you through, and keep coming back. “You’ll be amazed before your halfway through.” 

I guarantee it!

AA the healing hospital for the broken hearted. How does all that work? With my humble experience I will give this an abridged go. I am speaking here generally for the “WE” of recovery, not specifically, for I know there are many paths. 

It starts with brokenness. Usually after years of self abuse and inebriation in one form or another. We have allowed the lower power to push us to a point of self destruction. We fall through the door of AA not really believing it will work, not even sure we have a problem. We come in because we don’t really know what to do but, we know we really need to do something!

Joining a worldwide organization?

We are not joiners, but here we must, in order to live. The isolation has to end! So reluctantly, if we are honest with ourselves, we join. If it wasn’t free, we would never join because at this point many of us are broke! When you think about it, because it is free, it’s safe. Why join, because we are much sicker than we think we are and need some serious time in therapy with others who suffer from the same malady. As they say, “This didn’t happen overnight and you ain’t gonna get better that way either.”

Sponsorship?

You can’t do this alone because it won’t work. For best results, I recommend same sex sponsors for obvious reasons. If your not sure about what sex you are, look between your legs and you will see your answer. Besides getting someone with some serious time and step experience, most of us need fathering or mothering to help us understand life values. Sponsors can help us understand very important principles we ignored or never received growing up.

Progressing through the steps

Twelve steps of true honesty to God’s healing flow. Taken one by one in order with a sponsor. Not difficult just require honesty, willingness and dedication. For best results undertake these “steps” as a new living lifestyle. It’s worked for millions, it will work for you.

At the meeting the other day we spoke about recovery delivering back to us what we had lost in addiction. It has certainly done that, but more than that, I was thinking of what recovery has given me that I never ever had before. Having been in continuous recovery for many years I have a long list. At this writing however, I think I’ll just cover two.

Love it seems to me now, is what life is all about. Love is a funny thing, much like recovery in that “ You can’t keep it unless you give it away.” Maybe that’s what they were talking about? A spiritual problem needs a spiritual solution and Love is surely  a spiritual solution. Funny, like so many of us when I got here, I could not even love myself. Evident, by what I was doing to myself. Very different today for a balanced self love has returned and with it finally, the ability to truly love others.

Blessed Peace is where I live today. Connected, every moment that I choose to be, with our loving, faithful Father.  Serenity came shorty after I came into the program and started working the steps. I was standing on a busy intersection, in a hurry,  waiting on a red light to change when it hit me. The serene calm came down briefly, but so foreign to me  I didn’t even know what it was. I ask my sponsor about it. He said it was serenity and that it would come back and stay a little longer IF I stuck with the program. I didn’t believe him but, he was right. Now as crazy as it seems, instead of living in anxiety and chaos all the time seldom finding peace, I live in peace and seldom ever fall into anxiety… Amazing!

I could go on and on and on about what has been given to me. Spiritual gifts that come by seeking truth. The truth this cowboy did not know!  Thank God you did and didn’t keep it to yourselves. I think you had already had been taught …

To keep it you have to give it away.

Often in the rooms I hear other introduce themselves as a grateful alcoholic. Grateful I thought, what’s grateful about being an alcoholic? 

I have enjoyed a lot of sober time to ponder this question, and I have the answer…

After spending nearly twenty years under the influence, by God Grace I came into the rooms of A.A. Had I continued on, even if I could have maintained some level of “reasonable” drinking and or drugging, what kind of life would I have had? I can tell you exactly what type of life that would be. A black and white life of low level misery, never able to truly see the world around me or all God had blessed me with.

Without sobriety there is no clarity, only anxiety. There is no real gain only loss, and a very bitter end with the realization that your life had really amounted to nothing. 

What’s all this about? 

Simply cleaning up our lives through the steps, and believe it or not, being able to rest each moment in the presence of God. Sound amazing? It is! 

So.. grateful, oh yeah.

Much like addiction, this coaster at Bush Gardens supplies the same level of terror. 

You get into it and slowly over time, it climbs to an indescribable high. As you just come over the threshold of that forever climb to a dizzying precipice, the ride falls forward about forty-five degrees and locks with a loud clunk to an abrupt stop. Your legs fall out of the car underneath you into the air as you look straight down to witness the horrifying free fall you are about to undertake.

This analogy works perfectly for the newbie as well as the old timer. If you decide once again to pick up, whether you have twenty days or. twenty years, you WILL fall down that terrifying rabbit hole once again.

Maybe… to never never land.

What’s the most important step? Why the 1st one, because it took me nearly twenty years of living hell to take it! 

Are you convinced?

The “WE” of recovery is certainly focused on the spiritual. As I have come to, over many years, by the Grace of Christ, I have gained His revelation. Now, I have a new joy in my heart that was never there before. It’s wonderful but, how did it really happen? 

It happened through belief. 

Sitting here in front of my fire, alone, in these wee hours of the morning it has come to me that although we cannot manifest instantly in the material world perhaps we can indeed manifest instantly by our believing will’s in the spiritual realm. 

The word believe, as I search it’s latin origins, is sort of like… Be Live. As tiny flecks of Godlike human flesh maybe it could be sort of like God when he said “let there be…” Perhaps we can do that with God’s help in the spiritual realm. As I think back of my many times of spiritual need, by asking for spiritual help and believing, it seemedto always come.. Of course the request had to be sincere and from the heart but, isn’t  that simply what true belief is?

A friend was speaking the other day about a serious resentment that he was trying to deal with. It got me thinking about mine. What.. where are they? I think because I have been in the program so long and heard from so many of you, that YOU have eliminated them for me. 

Many times when I hear someone talk about some mean thing they’ve done, I think to myself I did that. I had done THAT so many times in my old life that I feel like I HAVE to forgive. Besides, I don’t want a resentment anymore, because I now understand that all they do is hurt me. The other person involved is usually on the other side of town sleeping like a baby. So I guess these days I work hard at living in a sort of no resentment zone. I try to avoid them as much as I can but, of course sometimes they do show up. 

My wonderful second sponsor Wally K. use to say resentment were like a hot ash from a fire. If it falls on the sleeve of your white shirt  and you let it lay, it starts to burn a hole but, if you brush it away quickly there is no damage. I always need to also remember that everyone is fighting a battle I know nothing about. Life isn’t easy… for anyone, but giving a little Grace at times is.

Hiding from who we really are, because we are afraid to reveal our true selves to others. It’s the fear of getting honest. I guess that’s why the last few people I’ve worked with won’t go past the third step.. afraid to become rigorously honest. Afraid of what they’ll find.

Take it from me who had much to fear. Once you get there, you only find that fabled mythical boogyman the book points out, nothing more. Something, that’s nothing but old faults from a past that need to be reconciled and corrected. A simple process but not an easy one.

That’s all there is…yet

If we stay under that dark masquerade, the fatal disguise of alcoholism. How strange it all becomes. As I tell others, the only one in town that didn’t know I was the town drunk was me! We become so lost, we don’t know we are. A true spiritual malady. As if we covered ourselves in Saran Wrap thinking no one can see. Then over time, without help, left to our own devices, and truly, seemingly unaware, we slowly wither and die. 

Insanity