Alcoholism is tricky to say the least. Its not like you need to be an “under a bridge drinker.” Anytime you drink, if your alcoholic and the fuse is lit, you can continue onto brown out or black out. When that happens, death and trouble are at your door. If your anything like me, honestly, you don’t really know what your going to do when you fall under the influence. 

Remember…

It only takes one drunk to ruin you life forever.

Recently I spend an evening speaking with a woman who told me she suffered from Bipolar disorder. The more I spoke with her, the more I felt I understood even though she implied I could not. 

Although I don’t feel recovery is a panacea of healing for everyone. I do believe that support groups can help anyone. It’s the “two or more gathered in the name of truth” confessing and sharing our testimonies with each other for hope and support that really does it. That plan was laid out thousands of years ago by Christ himself.

Support meetings are much like a one hour prayer but, how many folks are willing to spend that much time each day. Like addiction, or any other three letter diagnosis disorder, we suffer from it every day. So how wiling are we to receive help? It’s like they say, “it’s only available for those who want it,” for it requires willingness, dedication and fortitude to learn. You may suppose the problem is that there are not enough support groups for your diagnosis to go around? Not the case. It’s simply the willingness to start your own. If you build it, they will come and you will all be better for it. 

That evening my new friend went on to explained that she did not believe there was a spiritual component to her disorder. I listened to her go on and on but I must disagree. We are spirit first and human second. All is spiritual. In actuality, we are just materialized, invisible atoms vibrating and swirling around held together by the power of almighty God. Eventually, when our bodies “wear out” our spirts will leave this dimension and move on.

Up until the age of thirty-three I was reluctant and later, because of addiction, really unable to understand any REAL knowledge of God’s spirit. Now by God’s Grace with thirty-eight years of clear headed, consistent recovery and fifteen thousand classroom hours listening to the truth from hundreds of thousands of different people in the rooms, by revelation my belief is real. 

The proof… 

It has actually, divinely occurred, in my life and further will occur in yours, accompanied with real divine life purpose, IF you allow it. Take it from me, we serve a God of unconditional Love. 

Hallelujah!

Listening to a new man a few days ago who had been making meetings, spoke of his sub-conscience. In a recent dream, he was offered a drink of alcohol and he refused it. He explained to us that that had never ever happened before. 

To me that just confirms our loving God and that regular attendance at meetings has its way of affecting our spiritual side. As a student of recovery, I have asked many why, after so many years of sobriety, did they go back out. The answer I always receive is… 

“ I quit going to meetings.” 

That statement is something I take to heart for I have heard it a thousand times. I do not want to go back out! So to put it another way, I look at It as a solid suggestion from our fellowship. 

“If you don’t want to go back out, then join a home group and attend meetings regularly.”
 

I also know because I have been told a million times.. “ It keeps getting better “ 

but…that depends on me staying close and continuing to work the program in all my affairs. I would also like to point out its a very good idea to get on your knees each day and thank God for another sober day because I can’t but, He can!

I would say there is a one word answer to that statement…. 

NOT! 

Today everyone was speaking about how they desired outcomes for others they cared about caught up in some dark spiritual web of compulsion. They were discussing what they had done or could do to help. Unfortunately, with thralldom to the dark side, unless help is desired it cannot be received. The chains of servitude are hard to break especially after years or even generations of following that way. We can throw life preservers at them until we are worn out and completely frustrated. Chances are though, if they did not request help and are making no real contribution or sacrifice towards receiving it, it probably won’t work.

Addictions to the world are many besides alcohol and drugs and with all addiction left unchecked bondage occurs. Spiritual problems require spiritual solution. Light dispels darkness, always has and always will. We don’t want something to remove the symptoms, we want a full solution. 

Only acceptance of the Grace God provides the complete solution to our problems.

Don’t know where to turn? 

If you are the one with the problem or the one desperately trying to help we have a program just for you. Come with us! We can get you headed in the right direction. It won’t cost you a penny (which tells you something). Millions have recovered. You can to!

Since I have come out from under my bondage from alcohol and drugs I have come to believe. Reading the Saint Francis Prayer, I realize today that my “now” expectations of myself will never be achieved even though I try. However, when I consider where I am today, having turned my will and my life over to a higher power rather than the lower one I followed for all those years. I am literally “Light” years ahead of where I was. 

I must always remember.. Progress not perfection.

As it says in the bigger book when Paul was speaking to the Romans of the day, “We all fall short of the glory of God.” If I choose to, I can rest in that statement as a truism for myself and all mankind. Acceptance of God’s Grace is the answer to all my problems today.

Sounds simple enough, but with us, it's not easy. I always wanna do it my way. I know better right, yet, look where you are. It’s not hard, it just takes willingness and honesty two things which are in short supply once we get here unless, we are finally willing to go to any lengths. Have you come to the end of yourself? We hope so, because if you haven’t, chances are your not gonna make it. 

I thought I was working with a new man a day or so ago and now he texts me and wants to try something else. I don’t know, you keep trying and you keep dying. He’s been trying for a while and all he’s managed to do is move to a harder drug. It’s like they told me, changing your drug of choice is like changing seats on the Titanic.. your still going down! 

When we come into AA we need to get the work done if we are to survive. That ain’t me talking, that’s the fellowship. Twelve simple steps away from bondage into a wonderful new life. Your real life with God that's been  hidden for so long because you were not able to find the Light. Remember it’s a “WE” program. Two or more gathered together in truth, that’s the way. 

You can’t do it alone.

I can only share my own experience but I think perhaps many have gone through what I am about to describe…

As  a child, I was given a Catholic upbringing. I attended Catholic grammar and jr. high. I attended mass on a regular basis throughout each week of my education. I went through the sacraments yet nothing really connected with me. I was too immature and self centered to open myself up to the love of God. I am however, very thankful to have had that upbringing, because I gave me an early understanding of the story of Christ.

At fifteen I was attending one of our catholic jr. high get together’s and wanted a particular girl but, I was too shy and there was another boy in the way. My friend that night suggested I go with him for a while. We left and he took me to an underage drinking spot. I had never drank before. We drank a few beers I got tipsy. I thought I had found “IT” what ever it was. I went back to the school function pushed the guy out of the way and got the girl. That night was the beginning of the end.

When I arrived at my first AA meeting at a rag tag AA clubhouse deep in the Appalachia eighteen years later hopelessly addicted,  I thought to myself this will never work for me but, I was too frightened to go back for I had had an extended visit from the four horsemen the night before. As my good friend Dale put’s it, “I came all the way in and sat all the way down.”

Now in my thirty- eighth year of recovery I have been taught, by the fellowship, a new understand of the reality of God. Now I enjoy a fresh communion with God every day and even attend church to hear and understand more that true blessed gospel story.  A story that had become true in my life as with millions of others. Yes, God has become a close personal friend that I hope to stay reasonably close to for the rest of my life here on earth and supremely close to in the life to come. 

Thank You Jesus!

My blessed mother in law just had her eighty-eight birthday the other day. You know what she told me…

She didn’t want to be eighty-eight! 

At this writing, I am in my early seventies and realize once again, that I can no longer do the things I use to do just a short while ago. I am having more difficulty with energy, awareness, coordination, vision and general health. 

What can one do? 

One of two things will happen. I can keep fighting my inevitable old age or I can surrender and accept the truth. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, it happens to everyone over time. Now, it’s just happening to me. 

I decided recently to come off the road in twenty-five because on a go ahead basis, it has just become too much for me. However, with this extra time, I have decided that I will attempt to continue skiing this year. So yes, I guess I am still fighting just a bit but, I am also preparing for battle by stepping up my gym attendance to five days a week! This, I feel, is a critical step as I get older. 

I have a very good friend, who has helped install many knees and hips over the years. He has advised against it. He explained to me that my joints are getting weaker, which they are. I guess there is a level of danger from falling but, I will prepare myself and try to be very careful.

Skiing locations are crazy close to me, maybe thirty minutes. I can go on off days, early and avoid the crowds. Hopefully, by doing that, no one will run into me. I may even be able to ski for free because I am soooo old. Lets face it folks, I ain’t that “black diamond” guy anymore. If I had a name for the level of skiing difficulty I go for these days I may call it something like “Pee Wee Ski”. It’s just getting out in the snow under that bright blue sky on those cold mornings. It just makes me feel really alive.

I know, I know, talk is cheap. We will just have to see how I come along… 

Will he keep up the gym routine? 

Can he get out of bed early enough?

Can he actually get to the ski slope?

Will he hurt himself at the gym?

Will he actually try to ski in his seventies?

Is he crazy?

Please pray for me and stay tuned, I’ll keep you posted.

I was listening to a young man give a lead the other day and he used this term. Crazy that we have all done this, some for a lifetime, not realizing there’s nothing there. Nothing for anyone in the black hole of drug addiction. It’s a trap, much like a a real black hole, designed to suck you in. Like a room at Hotel California. You can check in but never leave. 

I know, I spent almost twenty years there. It’s also kind of like a mirage in that you think your life is going somewhere and that your relationship’s with others are well. Not so, It’s all simply suffering because in the end, what do you have… nothing!

When we say the serenity prayer we usually say the abridged version. There is the line later in the full prayer that tells us that suffering is a pathway to peace. Alcoholics and addicts do suffer so whether we know it now or not, for after a while it always catches up to us. As strange as it seems, its like that level of suffering is what is required to find the life beyond .. Only through that level of suffering can that peace that passes all understanding be revealed.

Three simple rules to follow for a better life…

1. If it’s not yours, Don’t take it.
2. If it’s not true, Don’t say it.
3. If it’s not right, Don’t do it.