Thinking about my past I would get discouraged. That was only because I‘m was thinking about it from what I know today. I just didn’t know better then, as I know now. 

As a child growing up, I could only understand through what I was I taught. Taught by those around me who “ loved me.” I now know that THEY, could only give me what THEY knew and what THEY were taught. Later in life, I heard it explained succinctly in the rooms when you said… “You can’t give away something you haven’t got”. 

Well…neither could THEY!

We need to give ourselves and our “teachers” a break. We were all young with little real world experience. Hey, it only comes with age! Young and inexperienced we make mistakes, especially someone like me. I was a young drunken donkey headed, stubborn mule. You told me when I came in, “A smart man learns from his mistakes, but a wise man learns from the mistakes of others”. Well I guess I failed on both counts. I was drinking too much as a youngster to learn much from my own mistakes, never mind learning from others.  Back then, without ANY answers, I thought I had them all! Typical, teenage alcoholic, lame-brain.

Today, since I have cleared up and allowed the fog to lift, I see my past in it’s reality. I WAS LEARNING.

So, if you HAVE to beat up on yourself, please, do it with a heavy feather.