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Finding Joy, like all good things, takes time and work. I think it just naturally, or rather, super naturally comes after we understand, know and trust love. So you say, how can you develop a trusting divine love? Well first you must understand that all trust must be first earned to be received. You must begin to allow God’s Love to earn your trust. 

Jesus is faithful!

You will need to see with spiritual vision to understand rightly. Spiritual vision can only be found with a sober lifestyle. As you gain sobriety and clarity, your intuition seems to just “turn on”. You become able to feel and witness spiritual life. Over the years, if you continue to “seek” you will “find” and begin to gain a real historic timeline with God that you can comprehend. This could never happen in your life before, because you were under the influence. Now, you can witness over sober time what doing the next right thing can do in your life. 

Yes ..without sobriety, it would be impossible, yet sobriety is not the only key. We must ALLOW this thing to happen. We ALONE control the power of spiritual choice in our lives. To achieve joy will require a radical new form of honest self discipline. Like they say, “there’s only one thing we have to change…EVERYTHING.” 

This is nearly impossible to do alone. You will need help, instruction and correction from others who know the way. Thankfully, the only way to keep this gift of divine joy is to give it away. So, the help of the fellowship is always close by and available IF your willing to receive it. The fellowship is one of the few places where you can experience the “want what they have” thing. With our level of stubbornness, seeing it seems, is the only way we can become believing. 

As we all know, we don’t really deserve anything good because of our past behaviors yet, if we adhere to the program and continue to seek God by doing the rest of the steps, we can gain the honesty, humility and forgiveness that we need. 

“More will be revealed” for In our lives the results will manifest to prove to us that we are receiving the results. Then at some later moment down the line we suddenly experience an overwhelming realization that “God is indeed doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves.” It’s truly an amazing process and something you just don’t wanna miss so as “WE” say.. Keep coming back!

Change is a really hard thing for us. Stubborn and defiant, that’s who we are  when we come in. Besides, we have all the answers, right? The only problem is that everything is wrong. 

I have an elderly friend right now who I spoke with the other evening. He is going through the grieving process for he lost his wife but He’s drinking himself to death. He’s the kind of man who needs a wife so I know its hard on him, especially at his age. He is isolated somewhat and now lives alone. He’s a bit of a depressive and although He is trying to do what he thinks he needs to be doing, I sense a reluctance to the fellowships of recovery. 

I can say from experience, it’s very difficult to make it out there alone. It’s a WE program for many reasons, but the one that comes to mind ( no pun intended ) is a sick mind cannot heal itself.

I remember those early days wondering what I was doing. I remember thinking…What will people think about me now? Who am I going to hang out with? Am I really an alcoholic? I don’t have anything in common with these people. Yeah that was me alright, in full flight from reality! In truth, I desperately needed those pople, but I didn’t know. It. Just like, so many other things I didn’t know. My sponsor use to tell me “I didn’t know, I didn’t know I didn’t know” Yeah baby, straight up, a real nowhere man.

Change was what I needed, but I was afraid, just like my friend. They told me when I came in “Don’t worry,, there’s only one thing you need to change… EVERYTHING!” Yikes, these people are wacked. What’s a person to do? 

My advice, read the book, stay and follow directions, it ain’t rocket science. I know, I know, this won’t work for you. Why if I didn’t know better I would say your an alcoholic… BAM! 

This all seems funny now because recovery has changed my life in so many great new ways. Now, through recovery, I have been transformed into a much better version of who I really am. No longer afraid now I’m comfortable in my own skin and I gotta tell ya, it feels wonderful!

Back to our dilemma, what’s a person to do? 

Well… it’s as they say, you can go on to the bitter end and die a horrible alcoholic death or change and come with us. We will help you to understand yourself because we are all suffering from the same thing you have, untreated alcoholism. Besides, we all now know, we can’t keep what we have, unless we give it away so guess what?

We really need you here with us!

Welcome home!

I often tell people the last thing you will lose in addiction is yourself. It just happens probably as a result of all the lying and brain fog. Finding yourself after all your abuse takes time as with everything in recovery. I mean the name itself, after all, what is it we are recovering. It cannot be rushed, you must allow yourself to clear up and establish new healthy patterns in your life. Ninety meetings in ninety days was set up for it takes ninety times to develop a new habit. Once we come onto the path and get on the beam. We can start to make some headway. 

If you can remember your life prior to picking up your first drug or drink I think that is a good place to start. Do a review of what it was like then. What were you like? What did you enjoy doing? What type of friends did you have? I think this can get you started in finding out who you really are. Addiction always wants to paint it all black. It tells you.. “what’s the  use you can’t do anything anyway, why try, isolate and stay trapped in a tiny life, because your not going anywhere anyway.” What a lie! We all hear that voice, but that is from the dark side and has nothing to do with your reality today. 

Although you may be broke and feel like you no place to turn, that is not true either. After you complete the steps and have made your amends many people will receive you once again perhaps a bit cautiously, but they will. For no one hated you, they only hated the way you were under the influence of alcohol and drugs. Now that you are freed from that bondage people will start responding to you in new and positive ways. Ways that would have never been possible under the influence.

Don’t be afraid to try new things. You may just find out that you are good at them. Be sure and try the things you enjoyed before addiction for they are still within you and can always be nurtured with at little practice or additional education. Above all have some fun. Now that you don’t spend every dime you have on your habit, go out!Go to the movies, bowling, skydiving, dancing whatever flips your switch as long as it has nothing to do with the old ways. You are wondrous creation of Almighty God. Let yourself become that once again for He would have it no other way.

The other day in group, a good friend pointed out that his sponsor had told him “no new relationships for a year.’ That is very good advice. When you hear the slogan, “we will love you until you can love yourself, ” their not kidding. 

Coming in the door to recovery most of us are in pretty bad shape. It’s a wonder that I had not done myself in. So many die before they ever get find our door. Speaking at rehabs, I use to ask "how many peoples had experienced an OD flatline before” and always about half the room raised their hands. Learning to truly love oneself takes time, and like my old friend Georgie use to say, “Be patient before you become one!”

Yeah!

My second sponsor Mr. Wally K. use to say that romantic relationships will throw you every time. He use to speak about passion. I get that. The heat of a new relationship may be even more powerful than a drink or a drug, but for sure it can throw you. Getting your recovery established is the main thing here. There will be plenty of time for relationship, but only after you learn to love yourself. After all you can’t give away what you haven’t got, right? 

It’s not everything all the time like it was before you got here. Now, some things you need to leave alone, until you learn what you need to know. It sounds extreme, even brutal, for if we ever needed someone, now is the time, but we speak from experience. Experience that you need to listen to if your going to make it in recovery. 

On the other hand, I would strongly advise against divorce early in recovery, for you have just started to address the main problem that you have. When that is corrected, and it will be, if you follow directions from a good sponsor who has a sponsor. Your relationship that you thought had fallen apart, can, with a little work return better than ever before! 

Divorce only takes a few strokes of a pen. Early sponsors told me no major decisions for a year, and divorce is certainly a major decision. So, before you warp the greatest gifts God has given you, namely, your children, a willing wife and yourself, you need to hold up. Separate for a bit if need be, but over sober time, you will clear up and be able to see things in a better light. In truth, it was the addiction that was your biggest problem all along, and now that that’s been resolved, things can and will get much better. That old expression is so perfect here.. “Don’t throw your babies out with your dirty bathwater!” Trust me when I tell you all things are possible with God and now that you have turned your life over to Him, you need to allow Him to do the amazing work that you cannot.

I was just thinking the other day about meetings. Pretty amazing the way they work. A buch of misfits show up at a location and sit down together. We all listen to “how it works, the steps and traditions" to remind ourselves we don’t have all the answers, but there is a power who does. We pray, select a topic and all honestly and openly share on that topic. What seems to happen is that God shows up, and starts speaking to me through the others in the room. When it’s over, it seems like everyone there, including myself, has received their marching orders for the day. We get what we need in this way for the maintenance of our daily spiritual condition. 

Who would believe it or even experience it unless they had to. Funny, the reason we attend is because our lives depend on coming. We have no one to blame for that condition other than ourselves. God has a wonderful sense of humor. We have essentially forced ourselves into coming. Yet, after some time of “mandatory” attendance it’s as they say, we start to want to come to meetings.

Do they work? 

Well, all I can tell you is that I have been to about ten thousand or so and my life’s great, far better than it was without the meetings. I truly believe far better off than it could have ever gotten without the meetings. Lets not forget that though the meetings, and the people there, we are introduced to the process of recovery. I have gone through that twelve step process. As an amazing benefit I have  met about a million true blue friends that I never ever would have met. Friends like I had never had before. Real friends, that really care. Yes, it’s all pretty dang amazing when I think about it. God opened a door through MY pain and suffering, that I was forced to go through that has delivered me to a wonderful new life. Today, truly a place beyond my wildest dreams.

Sure different see that one coming,